How to Waste Time When You’ve Got Things To Do To Jump-Start Your Life

1. Take a nap.
2. Go on Facebook and read meaningless chitchat and stare at photos of narcissistic people.
3. While on Facebook, post meaningless status updates and irrelevant videos.
4. Decide to exercise while watching TV, specifically Hawaii Five-O and wish you were in Hawaii.
5. An hour later, exercise to Pussycat Dolls music and wish you looked as hot as Nicole.
6. Decide that exercise is boring and start dancing instead, like a slut on a club dance floor. (I need a stripper pole.)
7. Remind yourself that you need new music, and that you hate that time of the month when you are reminded you are absolutely female.
8. Go on your blog site and blog about wasting time.

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