Today you burst into
As if nothing
Had wilted away
Since the years passed
Since we last said
Have a good life
It took me that long
To say goodbye
To my heart
That tricked me
You were the one
The one who would
Make me whole again
It was an illusion
I watched the leaves fall
I shed inside
Hiding it from myself
Now you think
You can have
My heart again
To bend to your
If only it were
When the darkness
Threatened to take
My last breath
A living angel
Lifted me away
From my despair
Turn to me
I need you
His soul demanded
I woke from my slumber
I took his hand
We flew away
When he left me
He took my heart
This empty shell
That now exists
You can no longer
I am drowning in my despair
Like the roots of an aging tree
It devours my soul
A heavy burden
Unable to breathe
I no longer remember how it feels
To love, to be loved
To breathe as if every ounce of air
Rose from a field of lavender
Light, fresh, forever growing
I will age as the tree
Burrowing roots into the darkness
The underworld is my solace
Never to see the light of day
I will rest forever in my isolation
No longer will I breathe
Never to feel the rays of sunshine
The soil engulfs me
It holds me tightly, wanting me
It loves me like no other shall.
September 12, 1973 – November 30, 2013
If I were in the Marvel universe, Thor would be The One.
Can’t you see I’m a mess without you?
I need to look into your eyes,
to feel your skin against mine,
to feel your breath on my lips.
Let me make you forget your pain,
forget your broken heart.
Let me be the one who makes you feel
that all is right in this world.
Let me save you, and I will save myself.
Jack the Giant Slayer
Film Review @Ones2Watch4
Release Date: March 1, 2013
I smell the blood of an Englishman,
Be he alive or be he dead,
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.
~Joseph Jacobs, Jack and the Beanstalk (1890)
This is not the way the poem goes in director Bryan Singer’s (X-Men) Jack the Giant Slayer. Fee, Fi, Fo, and Fum are the two-headed giant’s henchmen, the stars of the village of giants.
Based on the fairytale, Jack and the Beanstalk, this film stretches and goes back to the beginning of the legend of the giants. Jack (Nicholas Hoult of Warm Bodies), the young farm boy who unwittingly trades a horse for beans, runs into the adventurous Princess Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson). An escaped bean transforms itself and the princess is carried off to the heavens – well, at least, to the land of the giants above the skies. The hunt ensues to rescue the princess, the group led by the knight protector, Elmont (Ewan McGregor).
With the expectation of a children’s fairytale, this film surprisingly has a grown up feel of horror and suspense. Its giants are not only monstrous, they’re evil and vengeful, with uncanny expressions. Most creepy of all is the two-headed leader of the giants, General Fallon (Bill Nighy), its smaller head resting on a shoulder, unable to speak but in grunts, its face reminiscent of Gollum in Lord of the Rings. These are nothing like the dumb and clumsy giants in traditional fairytales, unable to catch a tiny human. No, these giants are warriors in need of revenge and a lot of scrubbing down.
New to the story is the legend of King Eric who had power over the giants in a time forgotten until the power of the beans came to light by way of Roderick (Stanley Tucci), the right hand man of King Brahmwell (Ian McShane). The original tale mentions no princess but this film centers around her rescue. As romantic as that sounds, Jack and the Princess have little if forced chemistry between them. The formula is understandable, however, since these days no one would take to heart the reason for Jack going up the beanstalk to acquire only riches. Jack would quickly be caught and rolled up for a pigs-in-a-blanket dinner for the giants, ending the story too soon.
What saves the film from becoming too scary and too silly is its sporadic humor and the presence of Ewan McGregor. If there was a spark of romance it was emanating from the knight Elmont for his adored Princess Isabelle. The costumes of the king and his men weigh in on the silly side, seemingly borrowed from traditional Alice in Wonderland or Humpty Dumpty King’s Men. Elmont’s armor is just normal enough to make Ewan the dashing knight that somehow seems natural to his character.
Despite its shortcomings, this is a film worth seeing again, if only for the creepiness of the giants, the allure of Ewan, and the enormity and epic surge of the beanstalks. What is missing may be an extensive explanation of why the giants have the specific fear that overtakes them. Jack the Giant Slayer can be bypassed in 3D mode as the effects are not extraordinary, even though these giants do eat humans.
Cupid is sometimes a really bad shot, his arrow piercing only one of the two hearts that meet. He either needs to practice more or maybe it’s his cruel intention all along to make one suffer as the other escapes, oblivious to the destiny he had just changed. After all, no one ever said Cupid was an angel.
That is my destiny it seems: the one with the pierced heart, forever suffering from unrequited love. After a period the thought of one man should bring nothing more than “Can I still spell his name correctly?”
Instead, thoughts of him twisting my heart with his words haunt me, driving me mad knowing no one else has that effect on me. In quiet echoes I hear his heartbeat, steady and in sync with mine. It is improbable, I tell myself, that he is also thinking of me at this moment. There are way too many moments that should never be and yet is, stretching to years.
How could Cupid be so heartless? The poison of his arrow should have lasted only days if it did not hit both marks. He might as well have made it a death arrow, for my love goes unresolved, unsatisfied, and unobserved. It is too much work constantly reminding myself of all the things wrong with the man I love and how he is wrong for me. My logic is no power against the wound that still bleeds my life away.
Alas, no matter how hard I try the poison remains. The life of my heart resides in him, and he is unaware. No man has ever affected me in greater depth than he and continues to do so even without his presence. He is and forever shall be my greatest love. Such is the destiny of Cupid’s missed arrow.
“I’m sorry,” he said with those ethereal eyes, his lips curling at the corners, amused at my agitation.
I didn’t like it when a man was right about my feelings.
“I would do anything for you, love – even lay down in this stream so you may crawl across without getting wet.”
It was my turn to smile. I bent down and lay atop him. I didn’t care if I got wet.
- #PiscesWomen may seem transparent….but what you see is only a piece of it all.
- #PiscesWomen are extremely compassionate…..but it has a limit and is not given to everyone.
- #PiscesWomen are not perfect… but are the closest you will ever get to the complete package.
- #PiscesWomen have a talent for predicting the outcome of situations…even when she hopes she is wrong…she isn’t.
- Searching for signs and meaning behind everything… #PiscesWomen confuse themselves
- I proceed into this beautiful mistake… even though I know what the outcome will be. #PiscesWomen
- You’re the enemy…but feel like a savior. #PiscesWomen
- With you I feel alive…. #PiscesWomen
- It would be wise for me to not let it get too deep…because I will be the one that drowns. #PiscesWomen
- Reality says we will never be….you’re what I want…but not what I need. #PiscesWomen
- You feel amazing to my body & spirit…but bring confusion to my mind…and pain to my heart. #PiscesWomen
- #PiscesWomen are extremely sympathetic…but she will only want to listen to the same sob story once.
- #PiscesWomen always understand your perspective…even if she doesn’t agree.
- If you allow her to open her heart and imagination to you….she will take you to the highest levels of ecstasy #PiscesWomen
- #PiscesWomen can’t stay mad long…she is usually always willing to forgive and forget…especially if you have a place in her heart.
- #PiscesWomen choose lovers that can be challenging. She feels compelled to show him what love really is…
- #PiscesWomen allow you to take the lead…she knows how to be the woman…just play your part as her man.
- It’s so annoying when she really wants to “do this”….but her intuition is screaming “do that” #PiscesWomen
- #PiscesWomen need an adventurous, intriguing, exciting individual to bring out the sultry side. No practical, serious energy please.
- A #PiscesWoman’s mind is only off during moments of passion…when all of her other senses are opened.
- #PiscesWomen have a soothing, but powerful presence
- Sex is more than sex for #PiscesWomen. To her your souls, minds, bodies, and hearts merge in those moments.
- #PiscesWomen ……. a Queen….in search of her Bad Boy King
- It takes one jolt of reality to put things in perspective for #PiscesWomen then she takes it for what it is.
- The way I feel when I’m with you…makes me go against my better judgement. #PiscesWomen
- Subtly seductive…. #PiscesWomen
- Delicately complex…. #PiscesWomen
- With the right approach….you never know…. she just might. #PiscesWomen live in the now…
- Theres something about me….that makes me unforgettable. Remember that…before you’re forgotten. #PiscesWomen
- The rush #PiscesWomen feel when she sees the right name on her phone, at the right time…is part of the addicting excitement.
- #PiscesWomen have extremely optimistic hope…with a realistic view, and an annoyingly powerful intuition.
- The way I’m feeling….baby this just can’t be wrong. #PiscesWomanThought
- #PiscesWomen want it all… but aren’t the type to demand it. She wants the meaning behind it…when it happens on it’s own.
- #PiscesWomen are not afraid to let loose. Lost in the moment…she won’t care about the surroundings.
- The emotions of a #PiscesWoman …..always changing, always shifting, always different, always powerful.
- #PiscesWomen usually end up regretting their acts of kindess….
- If her heart is involved… it all changes. #PiscesWomen
- Even though incredibly passive, #PiscesWomen will check you as soon as you talk to her in a condescending, or hateful way.
- Freedom. #PiscesWomen need that.
- If a #PiscesWoman tells you she isn’t like other women… believe her.
- #PiscesWomen are always on the fence about about something…. but she believes time will reveal the answer she is looking for.
- I didn’t change…I’m still me….I just stopped being your doormat…and you obviously don’t know how to handle that. #PiscesWomanThought
- #PiscesWomen have no problem giving you what you want… just ask:)
- Shopping with a #PiscesWoman? Be prepared to wait, her indecisiveness and the beauty of retail will have you there for a while:)
- There is usually no fully redeeming yourself with #PiscesWomen , once the line is crossed, there is not crossing back over.
- Even when you have done her wrong time and time again… #PiscesWomen still feel sympathy for when karma comes around to bite you
- Even when heated, #PiscesWomen try to understand your point in the argument
- Just know…that a #PiscesWoman…knows more than you think she knows.
- If only you could mix and match with qualities of men…I’ll take his smile, with his ambition, and this ones sex… #PiscesWomenThought
- #PiscesWomen can drive themselves crazy by thinking…analyzing…interpreting…and wondering.
- The emotions of #PiscesWomen come & go…the only feelings that linger are heartbreak and love. Emotions that move the soul…
- #PiscesWomen can be pretty unfiltered at times, she doesn’t strive to offend…but if she does…it won’t really bother her.
- #PiscesWomen have an artistic view on the world around her….any moment can be made into a movie scene in her imagination.
- #PiscesWomen dabble in a little of everything…her interests vary from day to day or week to week.
- #PiscesWomen win over so many because she talks the talk…and others envy her because she walks the walk as well.
In summary, I’m just like any other Pisces woman out there. 😉
I left him there that morning, half asleep, half in shock of what we had done the night before.
He had kissed my neck as I turned and said to him, “No, I’m done with you.” I moved away, his hands caressing down my arm to entrap my hand.
“Don’t leave me this way,” he said with a heavy roughness in his voice. “All I need is you.”
I kissed him softly and bit his lower lip. “Goodbye, sweetcheeks.”
Who says I’m not sweet? I am, fuck you very much.
Lily Allen says it so sweetly.
*cute funny effects*
The dark stormy skies echo my heart today. I realize more than ever that there is no hope for love anymore, that there is no special someone for me, that true love and soulmates don’t exist, and I am alone in my heart. All my life I’ve waited and searched for The One. Today I feel he does not exist in this world. I was not meant to be with or belong to anyone. The dream I had was just a dream and nothing more. I am accepting my fate, and my heart breaks endlessly.
I laid my head against his chest, and he held me close. ‘I will not cry,’ I admonished myself in silence. He wanted to know what was bothering me and why I was sad. I hesitated to tell him at first. I didn’t want to lose him as well, for he was a possible future and potential love. However, as a test of his strength and faith in me, I told him the truth.
“I had been seeing someone when I met you. He wasn’t a boyfriend. It was simply a sex thing. In time I fell in love with him. Then he told me was married.”
He stared at me with those vibrant blue eyes and calmly said, “Men are jerks. I’m sorry it happened to you. I should have been there for you.” With that, he pulled me close to him.
Suddenly my world felt a bit calmer, knowing he was around. I knew I couldn’t love him at the moment but I needed him. It seemed forever that I could admit I needed anyone at all, feeling mostly self assured. Lately that had changed and I’ve had zero confidence in myself and my future.
He took my hand and held it close to his heart. “Do not worry about a thing. I will try not to be so busy that I don’t have time for you. Everything will be okay.”
He kissed me gently and I felt his heart beat faster. I knew I had found someone special.
Atesh in Pierre Cardin perfume commercial.
Today was going to be the final night, she told herself. She had enough of the ambiguity, the relationship of the non-relationship. What made him so special that he was irreplaceable, anyway? All they had together was what happened in the bedroom and didn’t venture outside of that area. She could easily find another lover just as good or even better. No words of love were ever exchanged, making the strong argument that it wasn’t necessary to continue the arrangement.
The door opened and he stood smiling at her, seemingly happy to see her. She fell into his arms and kissed him. His lips felt full and soft against hers, and she tasted its sweetness. He helped her pull off her boots and he followed behind her to his bedroom. She could feel his stare unlike at other times they were together.
‘What is going on,’ she thought to herself. There was a strong current passing through them, and she felt herself being pulled closer to him. He was more fiery than usual, yet in tune with her every move. She let him take the lead and gave in to his desires, for suddenly his desires were her own. They moved in sync with each other, a desperate passion driving them to near frenzy.
In the quiet of the afterstorm they lay together, his arms gently holding her close. She felt her heartbreat throbbing and was sure he could hear it outside her heart. As she watched his beautiful face at rest she wondered why he wasn’t as talkative as usual. It didn’t matter; she didn’t feel like talking either. She was more than content to lay against him and try to still her heart.
She remembered what she had planned to do earlier and realized it was an impossibilty. The chemistry they had together was rare, even for her, and she wasn’t ready to give that up just yet.
What Women Talk About
I’m thinking this will be a sort of series so this is only one of more to come.
Guys: if you are on a dating site or not on a dating site and are thinking of sending a photo of your privates to a potential partner, remember this:
Women do talk about your penises. They discuss the size, shape, width, length, and even the color of your prized asset. Even after you have sealed the deal, they will discuss your ability to use such asset. In detail they describe to each other how you perform, your finer points, and your worst moments or attributes.
Never assume yours is the best they will or have ever had. That is a guaranteed 100% fallacy. You can, however count on the fact that your penis will be well discussed in their arena of friends.
It was time to for him to go, and I watched his every move, his every blink of the eye, his every breath which rose inside his chest. He was the epitome of beauty, masculine yet delicate in his countenance. I still felt the warmth of his lips on mine, his arms around me, and his words, “I live for you.”
I knew it was a lie. He was leaving me, as he always does, to go home to his wife. We had an arrangement, and it worked well for both of us. Yet he insisted on saying sweet nothings to me throughout the night, as if I needed it to survive the encounter. It was a game we played: pretend we were in love in the brief moments we spent together each week.
Only in my case, I did love him and would go to the ends of the earth for him. It was wrong and I knew it, yet I could not stop myself or end the affair. He made my heart soar as no one else ever has, and I didn’t want to let go of the happiness which seemed so precious and rare. All I could do is give him everything I am when I am with him. If the time came for my heart to shatter into a thousand pieces I will deal with it as I always have. I have not died yet.
I moved behind him on the bed and and placed my arms around his chest, planting a soft kiss on his neck. He turned and lifted me over, laying me against him on his lap. His eyes searched deeply into my own, then said in a heavy whisper, “Marry me.”
I laughed. “Did you suddenly forget you’re already married?”
He smiled widely, his eyes twinkling in the candlelight. “Remember that things aren’t always as they seem.”
He got up, picked up his tie without putting it on, and left towards the door. I sat stunned and baffled at his words. Was this part of the game? As I watched his backside walking away, I became awed with his physique and lost my thought.
Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
“The tiny shell with two feet and one eye is the creation of former SNL-actress and comedian Jenny Slate and her fiancé Dean Fleischer-Camp. Marcel made his Internet debut last year, and racked up more than 12 million views on YouTube.”
The newly released video:
The original video:
For endless giggles in my own universe.
Darkness is my strength
When love is my weakness
It is the box that keeps
The shattered pieces
Of my broken heart
Until the time comes
When a stronger love
Makes it whole again
Only that day does not
Come soon enough.
Immortals, directed by Tarsem Singh, is not for the faint of heart. Plenty of blood-spurting action and tough one on one combat make no excuses when it comes to graphic depictions. It could be addicting to say the least if you love the type of action sequences as seen in the film 300 or love graphic novel films in general. Similar in its cinematic look and feel as 300, Immortals takes it a step further in 3D CGI graphics with epic tidal waves, cities built within cliffs, monumental dwellings, and earthly views from the heavens.
Based on Greek mythology but with its own twists and turns, the story revolves around Theseus (Henry Cavill), a peasant bastard who becomes the hero and leads the army against King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) and his legion of scarred, mask-wearing, sadistic warriors. Zeus (Luke Evans) and the Olympians view the carnage from above until there is no other choice left towards the end. King Hyperion, intent on obtaining the Bow of Epirus with its magical powers, maims and kills at his whim, yet he tries to bring Theseus to his side. Phaedra the Virgin Oracle (Freida Pinto) reveals to Theseus his destiny and brings him back to the source of the conflict.
A beautiful cast of gods, a goddess, creepy oracles, and hunky soldiers, Immortals lives up to its epic feel cinematically. Its action sequences are nonstop with thrilling suspense at every turn. This leaves little room for a dramatic storyline but its actors have done a decent job with their screen time. Henry Cavill plays his role stoically with heroic countenance, cementing his appeal in his future role as Superman. Luke Evans portrays Zeus as a strong yet compassionate father figure of the Olympians; even when he has to follow his own words you forgive him of his deed. Isabel Lucas as Athena, Kellan Lutz as Poseidon, and Daniel Sharman as Aries play the golden clad young beauties who dare to defy Zeus. Stephen Dorff as Stavros, Theseus’ player sidekick, gives the few moments of lightheartedness in an essentially dark film. Even Mickey Rourke becomes too involved in his role as a psycho sadistic king. Freida Pinto is sweetly sensuous as the Virgin Oracle and this role seems to be a turning point for her.
What makes this film amazing is the stunningly beautiful vision of its landscape, the superbly choreographed battle sequences, and its gorgeous stars. It’s art in motion and available in 3D, which doesn’t necessarily make much of a difference except for a brief period in the ending scene when things are flying at you. It is a film that needs to be seen on the big screen and in high definition. For graphic lovers, that means highly defined blood squirts, flying body parts, and kickass fighting. For manflesh lovers, that means seeing in contoured definition Henry Cavill, Luke Evans, and the rest shirtless and muscle bound in action. If a sequel is made the gods should get more screen exposure.
The Butler in Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life 2003
I like to torture myself. That’s why I fall in love with men who don’t want to commit to a real relationship. Whether it is fate that makes me bump into these types of men or my subconscience that seeks them out I don’t know.
All I know is that it seems much easier to manage a relationship when you know you can control the amount of emotion and emotional investment you put in without having to consider the other party’s feelings. You already know they don’t really care about you or like that movie says, “He’s Not That Into You.” In this approach there is no one to blame but yourself when the union ends because only you were the one living in the fantasy. Any hurt you feel was born out of your imagination and not truly genuine. Life goes on when another fantasy materializes.
The key word is fantasy. It’s all in your head. It will make you appear helpless and unfocused but you are as strong as your imagination.
Honestly, I wouldn’t know how to react if a guy said to me with genuine conviction,
“I love you with all my heart and soul.
You are my sun, moon, my universe.
Your breath is my breath.
Your pulse, my pulse.
Before you there was only darkness.
Now you are my light, my inner fire…”
Then I would think there really is a God.
~ Violet Mystique
It’s only words, and words are all I have …
I’ve been struggling these past several weeks about this blog site and what exactly it is supposed to represent and what it should represent. It’s like trying to define and place inside a tidy little box all that is you, your personality, your likes and dislikes, and everything you want to express at any given moment. Impossible for me – I am undefinable, and I don’t like to be restricted in anything.
I have been told my writings in recent months have been “dark.” This, on the surface may seem harmless as a statement, but I took it to heart, thinking I didn’t want to depress everyone or anyone who happened to read my blog (a previous one). Therefore I told myself to try and cut down, tone down, erase altogether, all the writings that were indeed dark or had a dark shade of gray. I found that, by doing so, I didn’t want to write anything at all, that something inside me wasn’t allowed to express itself, and it turned inward and became my own depression.
Then, the other day, I happened to watch a movie, Anonymous, an alternate story about Shakespeare, Queen Elizabeth, and a nobleman who wrote the works under Shakespeare’s name. It was a rather dark, thought-provoking, and awesomely shocking version of a piece of history. Writing was this nobleman’s life, his passion, the core of his existence, and yet he had to hide it because it was considered beneath his station to be a writer.
Never having considered myself a real writer, I nevertheless had an epiphany: I had let someone else’s opinion of my writings stop me from doing something that was a part of me, of something that was essential to existence, an outlet for creativity I have struggled to maintain my entire life. I realized that when someone is disturbed by what they read (journalist articles excluded) it reflects on that person’s perception and his own way of dealing with the topic written. I no longer want be judged for what I write. I will write whatever, however, and whenever I feel a need to – or maybe not write anything at all because I don’t want to, not because I am afraid to for fear of people’s opinions of me as a person.
It is the death of creativity to fear others’ opinions of your work.
Gaspard Ulliel (more on him later), French actor, in The Vintner’s Luck
Sometimes you never know how much your pets mean to you until something happens when everything else in the world stops and the moment is frozen with just you and your pet.
Such a moment happened the other morning as I half awoke to the sounds of two pomeranians – the females – roughhousing. I was too tired to get myself fully awake and separate the two so I let them duke it out until I could fully assess their injuries, which is usually not serious if any at all. A little hair pulling and scratching here and there and they are good to go afterwards.
My heart skipped a beat when I heard a familiar whining cry from one of them. It was the cry of pain, a cry I had only heard when each of my other two dogs had died, a cry as if something was pulling their soul out of their tiny little bodies. I thought it was the older one, who is about 13 years old and having breathing problems. When I turned on the lights and saw that it was the baby – actually almost two years old – I died a little inside already. She lay on her side motionless, her eyes slowly shutting, and the male dog, who is about 10 years old, was hovering over her, sniffing her.
I picked her up and screamed, “Don’t leave me!” as if I had the power to keep a living being alive simply by saying those words. I checked her over to see if she was bleeding or had any obvious injuries – there were none, and I massaged her all over in case it was a muscular freak out thing. She turned her head to me with wide eyes, a questioning look as if to say, “What the hell are you doing?” I set her down to make her walk and she looked fine.
I couldn’t leave her that morning right away as I suddenly felt guilty her shots weren’t updated and she hadn’t been examined for over a year. I took her to the vet, and she seemed even more attached to me physically as I drove; she was probably as scared as I was from the whole incident.
The vet guessed that her slipping knee cap had something to do with her falling over that morning. Pomeranians have a tendency for knee problems but she is the first one of the six I’ve had that had that problem. He recommended glucosamine (cartilage) supplements to strengthen her knees and to keep an eye on it for it may need surgery in the future. After establishing that ongoing issue, the vet gave her annual shots while saying she was such a well-behaved dog.
Well behaved. Ha! Did I mention she was the instigator of that rough play with the other dog almost twice her size? She barks and tries to run after dogs ten times her size when we’re out walking. A feisty soul lives in that petite little 5-pound frame of hers. Why does that sound familiar?
Trying this out as my first post. It will get more interesting later. In the meantime, you can stare at this bleeding hearts plant I once grew.