Who says I’m not sweet? I am, fuck you very much.
Lily Allen says it so sweetly.
*cute funny effects*
The dark stormy skies echo my heart today. I realize more than ever that there is no hope for love anymore, that there is no special someone for me, that true love and soulmates don’t exist, and I am alone in my heart. All my life I’ve waited and searched for The One. Today I feel he does not exist in this world. I was not meant to be with or belong to anyone. The dream I had was just a dream and nothing more. I am accepting my fate, and my heart breaks endlessly.
I laid my head against his chest, and he held me close. ‘I will not cry,’ I admonished myself in silence. He wanted to know what was bothering me and why I was sad. I hesitated to tell him at first. I didn’t want to lose him as well, for he was a possible future and potential love. However, as a test of his strength and faith in me, I told him the truth.
“I had been seeing someone when I met you. He wasn’t a boyfriend. It was simply a sex thing. In time I fell in love with him. Then he told me was married.”
He stared at me with those vibrant blue eyes and calmly said, “Men are jerks. I’m sorry it happened to you. I should have been there for you.” With that, he pulled me close to him.
Suddenly my world felt a bit calmer, knowing he was around. I knew I couldn’t love him at the moment but I needed him. It seemed forever that I could admit I needed anyone at all, feeling mostly self assured. Lately that had changed and I’ve had zero confidence in myself and my future.
He took my hand and held it close to his heart. “Do not worry about a thing. I will try not to be so busy that I don’t have time for you. Everything will be okay.”
He kissed me gently and I felt his heart beat faster. I knew I had found someone special.
What She Says or Thinks / What He Says or Thinks
When I’m with him he makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
When she’s with me I get so hard and horny nothing else matters.
Sex is so beautiful and a transcendental experience between us.
Sex is awesome and she does this thing with her ….
I think I’m in love with him.
I think I could keep her as a regular.
I can imagine growing old with him.
I can imagine her old and I’m a little scared.
When I’m not with him I miss him so much.
When I’m not with her I think of going skiing.
My sex dreams are filled with him.
My sex dreams are filled with her and a few other women.
I would do anything for him; he’s my one true love.
I would do anything for her unless I have to move out of state.
No one is sexier than he is when he’s with me.
No one is sexier than she is when she’s with me except when someone hotter gets in my line of sight.
I want to bear his children.
Who’s talking about kids?
It’s Valentine’s Day; I hope we do something special and romantic.
Sticky note on bathroom mirror: “Buy her flowers and take her to dinner. Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day.”
Sometimes I don’t want to express in words what I want to do (to a certain individual) because visuals say it so much better.
Fight scene from the film Daredevil.
Atesh in Pierre Cardin perfume commercial.
Love and Affection
by The Green
I’m currently obsessing on this song by The Green, a reggae band from Hawaii. They recently toured my area and my sister and niece had the opportunity to see them in concert. I had never heard of them before, and my sister’s shoutout for them didn’t faze me much. It wasn’t until I was riding in my friend’s car on our way to see another reggae band, a local one originating from Hawaii, Kore Ionz, that I got exposed to this song – several times, in fact, since my friend was also obsessing on it.
Today was going to be the final night, she told herself. She had enough of the ambiguity, the relationship of the non-relationship. What made him so special that he was irreplaceable, anyway? All they had together was what happened in the bedroom and didn’t venture outside of that area. She could easily find another lover just as good or even better. No words of love were ever exchanged, making the strong argument that it wasn’t necessary to continue the arrangement.
The door opened and he stood smiling at her, seemingly happy to see her. She fell into his arms and kissed him. His lips felt full and soft against hers, and she tasted its sweetness. He helped her pull off her boots and he followed behind her to his bedroom. She could feel his stare unlike at other times they were together.
‘What is going on,’ she thought to herself. There was a strong current passing through them, and she felt herself being pulled closer to him. He was more fiery than usual, yet in tune with her every move. She let him take the lead and gave in to his desires, for suddenly his desires were her own. They moved in sync with each other, a desperate passion driving them to near frenzy.
In the quiet of the afterstorm they lay together, his arms gently holding her close. She felt her heartbreat throbbing and was sure he could hear it outside her heart. As she watched his beautiful face at rest she wondered why he wasn’t as talkative as usual. It didn’t matter; she didn’t feel like talking either. She was more than content to lay against him and try to still her heart.
She remembered what she had planned to do earlier and realized it was an impossibilty. The chemistry they had together was rare, even for her, and she wasn’t ready to give that up just yet.